18 June 2016

What is Home to You?

Here's an excerpt from Chapter 2 of my new book "Sex, Anarchy & Agriculture; One Woman's Quest for a Sustainable Home":
Home. Home is where the heart is, that's what they say. What does that even mean? My heart is in my body, and my body can't seem to stay in one place for more than a few months. Ok, I know the old saying means home is where your family is, where the people you love, live. But for me those people are spread out all over, and to be honest I wouldn't want to live with most of them anyway.
Home is where the art is. I named an art show that, once. Paintings of semi-idyllic, semi-apocalyptic landscapes. Millennium Gothic. And back to the body. I use my body to make the art, but where do the ideas come from? My brain, also my body? Or somewhere else. I have never been able to settle on a belief system for that one. All I know is that I don't know. Where does the art come from, and where does it go? In my case, everywhere. I have left my art in every house I have ever lived—more than a hundred houses now. My life has taken me to so many places, and I leave a trail of art-crumbs so that my family can find me, in case I get lost in the woods.
I leave the art behind, but my body goes with me, and everything I have done goes back to it. Wherever you go, there you are. Physically. And wherever you find yourself, that's the path. Castaneda talked a lot about the “path with a heart.” Is that the way home, then?
I call it “the destiny of vicinity.” Whatever I find myself around, that's what influences me. That's my path. That's what I do, whom I meet, who I love and fuck and live with. And those relationships influence my thoughts, my feelings, my choices. No man is an island, and women? Even less so.
How about you? Are you at “home”? Or just in a house somewhere? What is the compass you use to navigate your life? How has the placement of your physical body affected your path through the world?


04 June 2016

Get a real job? I have a real job!

A woman said to me recently "Maybe the reason you haven't found a good husband is because you are too sexual. Maybe you should forget about sex, contribute to the gene pool, and get a real job like the rest of us."

Or maybe the fact that we live in a world where one woman would say that to another is exactly why my work (as an unmarried childfree self-employed feminist who is at ease with her sexuality and not afraid to say it) is important? Women like me were burned alive for 500 years. Women like me are still being murdered for our beliefs, all over the world. Women like me have been scorned and marginalized for long enough. Women like me owe it to the women who have gone before us to be true to ourselves, and to speak out.

Forget about sex? Never. If anything, the more promiscuous I become with my thoughts, my ideas, the more promiscuous my body wants to be. You don't care about sex? No problem. But if you love it, if you know in your heart that your life has unfolded largely because of your pursuit of sexual pleasure and sexual love, then I am here to encourage you. As for that husband I seek? I will find one who loves and accepts me completely, for everything I am, or I will die trying.

And shame? You can shove your shame where the sun don't shine. Use lube, it feels better that way.